Wesley Flowers - Suicide Prevention Month Submission

It has a power over you

You're stuck on the tips of their fingers

One pinch and you're gone

You're impulsive

There are not enough bandages in the world to fix this

It's gone

Treat yourself

Get a coffee

Paint your nails, and then take the polish off because you notice one slight error, or maybe because you were just nervous

Who knows when it’ll come back

It’s a brief second, and the world comes crashing down

dissociate

Who even gives a shit about coincidences anymore

Impulsive

Cut your hair yourself, and then regret it later

But don't focus on that right now

Mental illness is such a taboo subject

No one ever wants to talk about

I can't even do it myself

That is just a fad, and everyone is hopping on the bandwagon

It's like zombie coming back to life, eating away at your brain

Growing into the living dead

I digress

Come back into reality

I always seem to go off on tangents when talking about something

Spitting everything, and anything out, like a coffee maker without its filter

I create these little stories in my head while dissociating,

I often imagine how people would react to my death

Regress

You're magnetic

All of your clothes electrified

You turn into the prepubescent boy

Unable to get out of the tiny blue lockers Jimmy from 5th-period math class put you in before lunch

The one with the “Deep Dark Past” no one wants to talk about, or the conversation will turn stale

Figures of my imagination made into real life

I am Jimmy

Shoving myself into those tiny lockers, to fit, and conform to everyone's expectations

Digress

Never able to talk about mental health

Everyone has it worse than me

I shut up

Living my whole life running

Never stood up

Toe to Toe,

Muscle to Muscle,

Muzzle to Muzzle,

And fought it

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