Pride Month Submission - Riley McGrath
There’s a boy with a heart that’s too big for his body.
It aches like the pin of his name tag is stabbing him repeatedly.
He hid behind his smile.
And the blue eyes that contain hidden pain
He wonders when he can be himself
Everyday, at work, he’s slowly dying inside.
He wishes he could just be honest, but he’s terrified.
Anxiety and depression follow him constantly reminding him that he’s still female on the outside. That idea never changes no matter what he wears.
He continuously hides behind an im fine.
He watches people live their happy lives on the sidelines.
The loneliness kills him inside
While he shouts his truth to an empty void
The world sees him in a pink light.
While his blood is blue and cold.
Raindrops turned into teardrops never fallen as he keeps everything inside, waiting for the day that he falls apart.
There are so many boys like him,
Forced to hide who they are in the dark.
Forced to hide in closets out of fear.
Forced to silence while others can live their truth
Forced into incorrect names, and placed into constructive boxes most people call gender norms.
He looks in the mirror and doesn’t know what he sees anymore.
He feels like a boy, but he still sees a girl standing back at him.
Sometimes he sees an empty soul in that mirror.
And some days, he wonders if he will ever see a happy boy looking back at him.