NSPM Writing Submission - Melissa O.

Submitted by Melissa O.

Depression and anxiety has been a huge battle of mine for quite some time now, roughly 3 years. It was something I slid under the rug and hid so well. I didn't say a word to my family, or my friends (except one person). It was scary. I didn't know what was happening so I tried to avoid it all and I just kept sinking deeper and deeper into a dark hole where eventually it led me to wanting to take my own life on June 21, 2016. If it weren't for my friend Kristy who has been there for me since the beginning I couldn't say whether I would still be here or not today. She essentially saved my life that night driving me to the emergency room. Since that night, I've gone through so much treatment. I did outpatient programs at two different hospitals, an inpatient stay at a hospital, a residential facility stay, regularly visits with a psychologist, and tons of therapy sessions with a licensed clinical worker. While doing all of this treatment I was diagnosed on the border of bipolar II and it took some time to accept and understand what that meant for me but in the end I could not have done it without the help of all of these medical professionals and the love and support of my family and a few close friends. My mental illness has made me realize my strengths, it has made me realize that I can and I will get through things that are thrown my way, and it has shown me that this life is worth living. I am so happy that I chose the path of recovery from this disease rather than to let it win. It is not over yet, but I am definitely not where I used to be and I am so proud of that.

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