NSPM Poetry Submission - LM

Submission by LM

It Is (Today)
It’s the nothing that keeps me awake,
Sees me mute until my bones ache,
with frustrations that grant me a break,
from the numbness that won’t dissipate.

Want to scream until my lungs bleed,
consumed, until i can’t breath.
Want to feel my consciousness leave
me stranded, alone, to just be.

The grip of my fingers slip,
from my throat on down to my wrist,
and my stomach again starts to knot.
Memories, never forgotten…

As my nails pierce my skin,
I feel…something.

No flitters, or trails nor notions.
Only flawed perceptions, emotions,
come sifting through the confusion
of my minds eye; the illusion.

When the voice in my head only hates,
reminding me of every mistake
that i have, and would’ve ever made.
A trail of destruction in its wake.

Like an old book thats worn, over-read.
With its pages all torn up and shred.
There’s no plot, no poem nor verse,
to keep me from sinking, submerged.

My mind inside is conspiring
against me as I lay crying.
I realise I’ve not taken a breath.
Drowning in the notion of death…

It can’t be suicide,
if you’re already dead inside…?

I breathe, I decide…
‘Today, I will survive.’

LM

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