NSPM Writing Submission - Anja W.

Submission by Anja W.

 I've struggled a lot with my mental health over the last four years and at several times I thought about ending it all. When I was 16, a few weeks before my 17th Birthday I decided, that I wanted to end my life because I just couldn't imagine living another year. I was as ready as you could be. It was the only thing I could think about. I choose to do it on my birthday and I had everything that I needed. But I've also met a girl on IG who tried to help me and we were writing a lot these days (almost all the time). When she realized what I've had planned she freaked out. She was so scared to lose me that she wrote me everywhere she could. I never thought anyone would care when I'm gone but this showed me that people do care. And it makes sense because I would care too. Even if I know someone only a little bit, I would be feeling bad if they were gone. That day I realized that people do care - even though I forgot about that when I was feeling down later in life. Now I can say that I don't want to die anymore although I'm still scared of living sometimes I know there is something worth living for.

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