MHAM Submission - Meggan Montuori

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Poem by Meggan Montuori

Once upon a time there lived a girl.
She hid away in her tower. 
You see she’s not a princess,
there’s not a prince who comes and saves her. 
She can’t even save herself.

She built her tower so high. 
It was supposed to grant her sanctuary but made
her a prisoner of her mind. 

When she leaves her tower,
chaos ensues.
She is attacked by poison dipped claws. 
They tear her mind apart piece by piece. 
All she can do is say breathe. 

Stop smiling so much. You’re being weird
Keep your face neutral. You’re trying too… 

Stop.

Wait, now everyone thinks you’re weird. 
Can you speak up for once? Actually, don’t everyone will
Think you're stupid. Everyone probably hat...

Stop.

Oh my god, great now everyone thinks you’re rude. Maybe you are.
Don’t get up. Everyone will be judging you. Why did you wear that outfit? 
Your hair's a mess. You should disa...

STOP. 


Minute by minute, 
her pulse quickens, her face becomes bright,
her body begins to shake. Her thoughts race. 
She prays for sweet relief. 

How can she be okay,
when she’s staring down a barrel of gun?
It’s not like she can run,
from herself. 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe
It’s ok. Everything will be ok. 
Calm down.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 

It’s a feeble attempt to calm her thoughts. 
The claws continue their assault. 
Her mind is in shreds
until finally, 
peace. 


She returns to her tower. 
It’s carved from her pain and tears. 
Each time the claws attack, it becomes higher
and higher. 

It’s her prison. It’s her sanctuary. 
Her social anxiety is her warden. 
There is no prince who comes and saves her. 
He won’t slay the dragon that lives in
her mind. 

She can’t save herself
but she can try.
She sits and curses her anxiety for
making her a fool. 
and turning her into a cowardly lioness.

She vows to fight the dragon. 
She won’t let it win again. 
She rests now, because
tomorrow is another battle.

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