Joshua Williams - Suicide Prevention Month Submission

i love you all

i want this last note to be very simple.

you are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel, i encourage it.

don’t feel like there was anything you could’ve done

don’t ever believe for a second that i didn’t look at all of you and feel so much love and adoration that it almost hurt to have you all in my life because all of you are my everything.

i’m sorry i lost the fight

spread joy in any form you can

dance like nobody’s watching

you are beautiful

i’m sorry. 

fin?
-
new years day 2018

i hadn’t written
in this chapter of my life in a while
i think its because
when your shameless secrets
fill every corner of your psyche
you almost can’t stand to see it
in ink
reflected back at you
a cursed antique mirror
that lovers old and new
can never know existed
-
i didn’t know that this could be so hard
i'd felt it of course
but booze helped make
the alarm sirens
dull
i think there’s going to be a day
a day where i quit
my brain glitches out
and my muscles grow sore
from trying
and my heart will finally give
and break in half
snapping my neck in two
but leaving my brain intact
what will i become of then?
will i be another talking head in a jar?
a headstone
with an ever changing last word?
the runes say time will tell
but my rune is blank
and i have so much time left.

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