Bisexuality is Valid
By: Gabby Frost
Lately, I've been seeing a lot of people invalidating bisexuality. "It's just a phase," "You need to pick between boys or girls, you can't like both," "People who are bi just settle with anyone because they want to please other people," are some of the comments people will make. I'm so tired of the ignorance and disrespect. If you're bisexual and people have said these things to you, I'm sorry. You don't deserve to have your sexuality invalidated because people don't understand it.
For those people who aren't bisexual and don't quite understand it, I'll explain it; it's quite simple. Bisexuality has the prefix of "bi," which means two. Bisexual people are sexually attracted to two different genders. This doesn't necessarily mean all bisexual people are attracted to boys and girls, it can be any two gender identities. This includes the non-binary genders, which include but are not limited to agender, genderfluid, bigender, pangender, and demigirl/boy.
Just because bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender, it doesn't make their identity invalid. They don't need to "pick a side," and frankly, saying that is ignorant and perpetuates the idea that heterosexuality and homosexuality are the only sexual orientations that exist. There are more sexualities than those two and they need to be recognized and represented.
Since I'm straight, I asked some people if they had anything they'd like to say regarding their experiences being bisexual.
My friend, Ritu S., said "People totally invalidate bisexuality all the time which is not cool. Also it took me so long to come to terms with it because I liked boys, so I automatically assumed I was straight. I didn't want to think there was any other possibility for my sexuality. Because of this, I'm constantly paranoid that maybe I'm making this all up or I'm just being weird or something but I know I'm not? I just have a lot of internalized biphobia that I'm trying to get out of my head and deal with."
"As a bisexual female, I feel like I constantly have to prove my sexuality to people. People are more and more willing to discuss sexualities, but nothing past gay and straight. Even though I come out to someone new almost every day, it feels like I haven't," said Twitter user @kaely_juliana.
"I've known I was bisexual for 3 years, and when I had my first same-sex relationship, I was faced with a lot of adversity. My parents weren't the most accepting, and were convinced it was a stunt to get attention. I had friends who began to torment my girlfriend and I, and call me a lesbian. I live in a fairly conservative community, so people didn't understand the idea of liking more than just one sex," Twitter user @boysenberet said. "Though my girlfriend and I broke up, I still face some of the same problems I faced when we were together. In our society, people don't know how to see past black and white; you're either gay, or you're straight. Until people can learn to accept all shades in between, bisexuals will continue to fight for recognition and acceptance."
Recently, Buzzfeed released a video titled, "Questions Gay People Have for Bisexual People," and I think it's important for everyone to watch.
A huge problem that bisexual people deal with is other members of the LGBTQA+ community invalidating them. The B in LGBTQA+ is bisexual for a reason, and lesbian, gay, transgender, queer, and asexual people shouldn't be making someone in their community feel worthless, unsafe, or invalidated.
A lot of people believe that when someone who is bisexual dates someone of the opposite sex, they're now straight. The same happens when they date someone of the same sex and are called gay. That's not true at all. It doesn't matter what sex someone is dating, they don't change from being bisexual to straight or gay; they're always bisexual. Just because they're with someone, it doesn't make their attraction for the other sex disappear; it's still going to be there.
We need to educate everyone on the facts about bisexuality and what it really is. Bisexuality isn't a phase, but hopefully people's ignorance about it will be a phase that ends soon.